איזה תו מוריד עזים מעצים? רה דיאז

To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.

It works better if you plug it in.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education - Albert Einstein

If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

Drive defensively--buy a tank.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down, No problem.

Those of you who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands; meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word.

If I follow you home will you keep me?

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.

He who laughs last has not been told the terrible truth.

When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't face drugs.

Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.

The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it.

I figure I'm pretty good with the bullshit but I love listening to an expert. Keep talking.

"I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song."

"How can you waste beer like that!! Don't you realize there are sober chilren in Africa!!"

"Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not after you."

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

"Life is unsure, always eat your dessert first."

"When life gives you lemons, pick them up and throw them right back"

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Due to economic conditions, the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off.

The first step to failure is trying.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Times spent wasted are not wasted times.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

"All my life I wanted to be someone ; I guess I should have been more specific".

I am not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.

Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good

WARNING! The dates in Calender are closer than they apper.

You are not thinking. You are merely being logical.

"It's me and you against the world. So, when do we attack?"

"Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon."

Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question.

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Everyone needs belief in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower.

Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question.

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extereme violence."

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

"If you take life too seriously, it ceases to be funny"

"A true friend will stab you from the front."

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett

"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."

"Those who sacrifice liberty in the name of security deserve neither"

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."

After each war there is a little less democracy to save. -- Brooks Atkinson

Being in a minority, even a minority of one, does not make one insane. -- Orwell, 1984

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil. - Ayn Rand

No one ever said it'll be easy, they just said it'll be worth it.

Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.

I never learned anything from anybody who agreed with me. - Albert Einstein